A friend shared an essay with me, and it's simply pure gold. It can be found here.
I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. The essay consists of various blunders written by college freshman the author taught. The collected malapropisms and misspellings are expertly paced, but I still found myself clutching my stomach.
If you don't have time for the whole thing, here are some hilarious highlights:
"During the Middle Ages, everybody was middle aged."
"Finally, Europe caught the Black Death. The bubonic plague is a social disease in the sense that it can be transmitted by intercourse and other etceteras... Victims of the Black Death grew boobs on their necks. "
"Martin Luther nailed 95 theocrats to a church door. Theologically, Luthar was into reorientation mutation. Calvinism was the most convenient religion since the days of the ancients. Anabaptist services tended to be migratory. The Popes, of course, were usually Catholic."
"The enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltare wrote a book called Candy that got him into trouble with Frederick the Great."
"Among the goals of the chartists were universal suferage and an anal parliment. Voting was done by ballad."
"Germany invaded Poland, France invaded Belgium, and Russia invaded everybody."The author, Anders Hendriksson, has also written a book Non Campus Mentis: World History According to College Students. A short article on Wikipedia gives some golden samples:
"Prehistoricle people spent all day banging rocks together so they could find food. This was the Stoned Age."
"Civilization woozed out of the Nile about 300,000 years ago. The Nile was a river that had some water in it. Every year it would flood and irritate the land."
"Magellan circumcised the globe."
"John Calvin Klein translated the Bible into American so that the people of Geneva could read it."
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